Be The Love You Are

Here are some practices you can try

Harmonization of Moods and Energies

To practice this meditation lie together in the nurturing position spoon fashion on your left sides ( for reasons of energy flow). The receiver on the inside is enveloped in the arms of the giver.

The purpose of this nurturing position is to create the balance necessary to harmony, to influence a synchronicity between partners, to adjust their separate energies so that they are vibrating on the same frequency. Tucked together this way, with their chakras aligned front to back, the two bodies tune one another. Allow yourselves a few moments of intimacy in a busy day.

The position will vary slightly from couple to couple because of preferences and the size and shape of the partners, but in all cases comfort is essential. Neither person should experience any strain or persist in a position of the slightest discomfort.

Depending on who feels more strongly that they would like to receive first you would create the position. If the man is the giver first and holding the woman, his right hand should rest on her heart chakra, between the breasts. His left arm slipped under the crook of her neck ( the weight of his head borne by a pillow so his arm is free to move ) and his left hand should rest on her forehead ( sixth chakra ) or on the top of her head ( seventh chakra ).
As you lie together, close your eyes and relax. Quiet your mind by focusing on deep breathing. Concentrate on the path of your breath as it rises up into - and then down out of your nostrils. After awhile, become aware of your partners breath.

Two breathing techniques are performed in this position. The first, used during the first few minutes of meditation, is called the harmonizing breath. The couple inhales together, holds the breath together, and holds the breath out together. During this harmonizing breath the receiver is accepting energy through the back and into the chakras, filling up with that energy on each inhalation. the partner on the outside is the giver , and should emphasize each exhalation , projecting the chakras' energy from the front of the body into the receptive back side of the beloved. Practice three whole breaths ( inhaling, holding in, exhaling, holding out ) at each chakra, beginning at the heart center. Focus attention on the naval chakra next, then on the brow chakra, then the sexual chakra. It is important for the partners to focus on the same chakra region at the same time. The giver may move his hand to each chakra to facilitate this focus and increase the energy.

The second breathing technique, used during the second part of the nurturing exercise, is called the reciprocal charging breath. This time, one partner breathes in as the other breathes out. In this way, during the several seconds that the breath is held, one partner will be holding the breath in, the other holding out. As you practice the reciprocal charging breath, be conscious of the energy your partner is imparting to you as well as the energy you are giving back.

The nurturing meditation allows couples to communicate on at least three levels. On the conscious level: skin to skin, on the more subtle respiratory level- breath to breath, and on the most subtle level - chakra to chakra. Over time such regular communication creates a kind of synergy between the partners chakras. The focus on breath and energy centers seems to create its own energy. Certainly when partners complete this meditative posture , they each hold more energy than when they first joined together.

When you have completed this meditation ( it should last five to ten minutes ) move into the tantric communication of soul gazing. Sit facing each other and look into one another. Don't speak, just gaze upon the face of your partner with whom you now feel so well connected. Notice the light that radiates from your lovers eyes. It is another benefit of the nurturing meditation - the light of love when harmony exists.

This article comes from the book the Art of Conscious Loving- by Charles and Caroline Muir
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One minute exercise - The pleasure of being alive

I ask you to please close your eyes, open your heart and feel the love that is pouring out of your heart. I will ask you to join me in a special prayer to experience a communion with all that is. Focus your attention on your lungs, as if only your lungs existed.Feel the pleasure when your lings expand to fulfill the greatest need of the human body: to breathe. Take a deep breath and feel the air as it fills your lungs. Feel how the air is made of love. Notice the connection between the air and lungs, a connection of love. Expand your lungs with air until your body has the need to expel the air. Then exhale , and feel the pleasure again. When we fulfill any need of the human body it gives us pleasure. To breathe gives us pleasure. Just to breathe is enough for us to always be happy and to enjoy life. Just to be alive is enough. Feel the pleasure of being alive , the pleasure of the feeling love ...

Don Miguel Ruiz- The Mastery of Love

Two Fundamental Tools

1. What you feed with attention grows:

Awareness is a powerful tool when it comes to sex. Next time you make love to your partner ask yourself “what am I paying attention to?” You may notice your mind popping back and forth between fantasy, movement, eyes, laundry, naked skin, work tomorrow ….you get the idea. Our awareness naturally has a “monkey mind” quality to it, even during sex (sometimes especially during sex). My encouragement here is to consciously, and non-judmentally, focus your awareness on following the direction of pleasure in your body. Where does it go? Where does it begin? Like following a ball of string through a labyrinth, pleasure has a pathway through your nervous system that, when followed with open curiosity, can guide you into new realms of bliss and connection.

2. Where breath flows, so does sensation:

Your breath is the only automatic body process that we have conscious control of when we so choose. What do you notice about your breath when you are intimate with your partner? Do you hold your breath or only breathe in the upper portion of your lungs? By consciously breathing more fully into your lungs, belly, pelvis, top of your head, tips of your toes, you can carry sensation into more of your body. In addition, breathing with your partner can evoke a connection that is deeply intimate and increases your emotional, physical, mental, and/or spiritual interconnectivity. Try out different ways of breathing as you explore its impact on your sexual experience and orgasm.

Enjoy exploring and remember the most profound adventures are rooted in your connection with your internal terrain.

Tantra Goddess Worship - Learn to Listen

The art and science of tantra is many things - but above everything else, it is the science of love. Love becomes a verb and is no longer an abstract concept. Love becomes worship, and femininity becomes the Sacred Feminine. Your woman is no longer merely a woman - she is a deity, and a deity deserves to be worshipped.

Tantra goddess worship is of great benefit to your woman, since she attains her ultimate emotional goal - to be cherished. However, tantra goddess worship is a lot more than a set of rituals - it is a whole mind-set that must be integrated into the man's psyche and life. This mind-set is gradually inculcated as the man begins to understand the nuances of his training.

What does it mean to worship or completely cherish a woman? Does it merely involve overt displays of sexual interest? Not at all. While every woman enjoys being praised for her desirability, what she really yearns for is to be fully understood and accepted by her man. Such understanding and acceptance can only come from attentive, worshipful listening.

Pay attention to your tantra teacher as he describes your woman's deepest emotional needs. Her gender has been subjugated by the more forceful and willful male for centuries. Her voice has been silenced by tradition, society and her own feelings of unworthiness. When you worship her as the tantric goddess in your life, your first duty is to allow her to express herself to you.

Learn to listen to your woman - really listen. Not only must you listen, you must also know how to make her open up her thoughts to you. Remember that sacred sex must always be preceded by sacred love. For sacred love to become manifest, the object of your love must first be made aware of her own holiness. When you sense any sort of emotional discord or disturbance in your woman, ask her gently what it is that upsets her.

She may not open her heart to you immediately. Nudge her gently until she volunteers to disclose the source of her discontent to you. When she does open up, assume and maintain an attitude of worshipful attentiveness. Never interrupt her as she expresses herself. Always validate what she tells you. Never criticize her or question the veracity of her feelings.

Foster and grow this attitude of worshipful listening with your woman with the guidance of your tantra teacher. You will be amazed at how much more responsive she will become to you. Only when this deep emotional connection between man and woman is established can genuine tantra goddess worship take place

Article Source:
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Basic anatomy: finding your G-spot , also called the Sacred Spot in Tantra practices

So named after Ernst Grafenberg, a German gynaecologist and inventor of the coil. In 1944 he wrote an article on the cervical cap with American ob/gyn Robert L Dickinson describing the g-spot as: “a zone of erogenous feeling…located along the suburethral surface of the anterior vaginal wall.” In 1950 he elaborated in an article called ‘The Role of Urethra in Female Orgasm’ for the International Journal of Sexology. However, his theories were dismissed until 1981 when Dr Addiego and his team published work in the Journal of Sex Research based on the study of one woman who had experienced a deeper orgasm when the front wall of her vagina was stimulated. They picked up Grafenberg’s work and named the ‘G-spot’ after him.

The G-spot or zone is an area of spongy erectile tissue called the corpus spongiosum, which lies 2-3 inches inside the vagina, surrounding the urethra. Applying pressure to the area will stimulate the urethra and give a woman the urge to pee but if she continues to massage firmly it can lead to deep, pleasurable sensations inside the vagina. Combined with clitoral stimulation it can give a woman a full-bodied orgasm because it stimulates a different set of nerves.

How to find it

The g-spot is easier to find when you are aroused as the erectile tissue swells. Lie on your back with your knees up and make sure your vagina is well lubricated. Insert your index finger palm side up and make a ‘come hither’ motion so you are stroking the top wall of the vagina. You can also use a g-spot toy such as Lelo Gigi (curved to hit the spot and provides sustained pressure whereas your hand can get tired). Keep the pressure firm and try different strokes to see how your body responds. You will get the urge to pee but this will pass leading to pleasurable sensations as your body opens and relaxes. Combine with clitoral stimulation for a deep orgasm.

If you don’t find it pleasurable to begin with then it’s worth persevering – try it over several days, as sexual response and sensitivity can vary throughout the menstrual cycle. Get into the habit of giving yourself a loving vulva massage at bedtime and incorporate internal massage to explore what feels good.

G-spot stimulation can cause female ejaculation – the release of clear prostatic fluid from the spongy tissues surrounding the urethra, which contain the para-urethral glands (Skene’s gland being the largest). Studies have found the fluid is distinct from urine and again, it can be a very pleasurable form of release.

All women are different and levels of sensitivity vary at different times of the month so it’s best to keep things exploratory and playful. Strengthening the pelvic muscles with Kegel exercises will also improve sensitivity and orgasmic response.

Quick Tips

Kissing and Biting the Neck

The neck is a sensitive and exciting erogenous zone. Many years ago, I discovered I have an area on the side of my neck that responds like a second clitoris! Explore the whole neck and throat area with various types of kisses, nibbles, nips and bites. Take direction from your lover as to what they like.

Connected Breathing

Before making love, take time to breathe together and connect your energy. Practice slow belly-breaths while gazing into each other's eyes. Do this practice until you feel the energy flowing between you and connecting you to each other's root and heart chakras.

Share How You Like to Be Touched

Take turns telling your lover exactly how you like to be touched. Be specific. Show them where and how to touch you. Describe how you like to be kissed, caressed, massaged. etc...

Embody a Particular God or Goddess

Dress up as a particular God or Goddess and embody their qualities. Make love to each other as a God and Goddess.