Be The Love You Are

One of the best descriptions I have read on tantra is this :  "Tantra is saying, yes". Osho
Like meditation and yoga, Tantra is a spiritual practice. It is not aimed at self-indulgence or pleasure as an end in itself. Tantra honors shakti sexual energy, with all of its rawness, social stigma, fear, and vulnerability to crack open our egos so that we can be present with our lovers, and ultimately, with ourselves.

The sacred sexuality seeker may find that many of the components of ancient Tantric practices integrate well with our daily lives. In fact, the experiences one has can give us tools for being more present and aware in all aspects of life.

Tantra It is sometimes called sexual yoga, though this concept can be misinterpreted. Yoga is another term associated with practices that help to unify apparent opposites. When doing yoga, you are actually performing an active meditation, focusing your energy on internal, as well as external, points. You bring much more awareness to the body and mind with yoga. In Tantric sexual practices the same is true.

The beauty of Tantra is that it is a partnered path of learning. Trusting another with your personal growth is the ultimate act of surrender--and surrendering is where breakthroughs can happen. Two people taking conscious risks that gently stretch the limits of their comfort zones can realize great growth individually and as partners. More at

The Art of Concious Loving - Overview by Charles Muir

What does that mean in today's world?

I went to my first workshop because I wanted to heal any past hurts I carried around with me that might prevent me from not only attracting and manifesting the type of deep love I desired but to learn how to give, receive, maintain and develop loving connection. I met couples at the workshops that wanted to re-connect with their beloved or continue to educate and or experience as much loving as they could. We realized that more was possible and all we had to do was say yes. Say yes to a few minutes a day to learn and share a few honoring and nuturing practices that have the power to transform and finally let the energy of love flow fully in our lives.

Some common misconceptions out there....

When I tell people I am developing a Tantric Educator and Healer practice and ask them what they know about Tantra some of the most common things I have heard are these. Tantra is about sex. Tantra is for people who are into swinging and wild orgies. Tantra is too out there for me. I totally understand this because I too had these thoughts. But I was determined to find out for myself. I read some books and found that to me it seemed the focus was on creating a special and sacred bond with my chosen partner. It was a way for me to question all the old programming and cultural perceptions about what love and relationship was supposed to be.

Tantra and sex are inseparable concepts in the minds of millions. This is unavoidable, because improved sexual performance and gratification are definitely important aspects of the tantric way of life. The problem lies in the fact that tantra – and especially the concepts of tantra god and tantra goddess – is seen as a means of turning men into erotic supermen and superwomen.

It is important to understand that in the tantric sciences, the tantra goddess is in fact the deification of woman. From being an object of man’s lustful intentions, she becomes a deity to be cherished and worshipped. This new way for a man of looking at his intimate partner is an integral part of the process of sexual healing. How does this happen, and why is it necessary?

Throughout the centuries, the sexual objectification of woman has been the primary cause of perversions and relationship breakdowns. Both the man and the woman suffer – the man is incapable of seeing sex and sexual intimacy in its proper context, while the woman often considers sexual relations as a cross she has to bear. It was never meant to be this way.

In tantra, sex is an act of worship – a beautiful thing. The tantric arts prescribe various tantric rituals to align men and women to the true meaning and purpose of intimate relationships. The woman is given an opportunity to recover from the sick conditioning she has been subjected to over the centuries. The man learns to revere and cherish his woman. As a result, sexual healing takes place.

The process of sexual healing via the tantric route must be carefully laid out and monitored, and this requires the involvement of an accomplished tantra teacher. The tantra teacher is not a sexual gym instructor, but a spiritual guide who teaches couples how to recover from the wrongs they have inflicted on each other, and how to set right these wrongs.

Tantra is a system of healing relationships and empowering couples and should be learned and practiced under the guidance of a tantra teacher.

How can we do this?

First off by avoiding all goal orientation. Instead give a blessing, an empowerment, a healing and an awakening. I think we can all utilze some of the practices be it meditations, visualizations, yogas, sound, breathing, energy movement and various modalities of intimacy to expand our connection to the universal oneness, ourselves and a beloved in a healthy loving way.

What I learned...

In order for me to do this healing I would have to open my heart and clear out any blocks I had be it emotional, energetic or mental that were no longer needed in order for my love to expand to it fullest potential. I learned that there were practices that were simple, powerful and rang true for me. I was pleasantly surprised to find that the initial techniques were about learning how to be more present in my own body and to breath with focus with the intention to be more conscious with what I felt and what my partner was feeling.

Quotes on Soulful Sex and Eroticism

If we could recover a sense of the holiness of eros and its creative, divine place in the nature of things, we might see how absurdly small our view of sex has been, and we might reinstate it without moralism at the center of life, where it can offer vitality and intimacy of unrivaled power. Before we can give depth and richness to our sexuality, we have to discover the value of deep pleasure and desire and at the same time relax our anxious attention to the control of the emotions, the justification of our lives by work and restraint, and our belief in the value of repression and suffering.
— Thomas Moore, The Soul of Sex

The true liberation of eroticism lies in accepting the fact that there are a million facets to it, a million forms of eroticism, a million objects of it, situations, atmospheres, and variations. We have, first of all, to dispense with guilt concerning its expansion, then remain open to it’s surprises, varied expressions, and (to add my personal formula for the full enjoyment of it) fuse it with individual love and passion for a particular human being, mingle it with dreams, fantasies, and emotion for it to attain its highest potency.
— Anais Nin, In Favor of the Sensitive Man

Your sexuality is god’s love letter to you, a miracle of biological engineering that could have been devised only by a mind of vast and humorous generosity, a mind that knew the pain and the sense of confinement earthly beings would feel and wanted to make sure you might always have glimpses of heaven.
— Jalaja Bonheim, Aphrodite’s Daughters

Truly qualified tantric practitioners wish to follow the speediest path to enlightenment, not with the desire to gain quick liberation, but because they have unbearable compassion for others. They realize that the longer it takes them to achieve enlightenment, the longer everyone who needs help will have to wait. The lightning vehicle of tantra is therefore intended for those who wish to help others as much as possible, as quickly as possible.
— Lama Yeshe, Introduction to Tantra

For I tell you now that within the heart and the mind and the body wisdom of the feminine lie some of the greatest secrets and greatest powers—and they await to be revealed. And all of it is laid open by the touch of another!
— Mary Magdalen (channeled by Thomas Kenyon & Judy Sion), The Magdalen Manuscript

Yes, it’s true that the senses can lead you astray and the pursuit of pleasure can get you into trouble. Sensual pleasure needs the guidance of practical and ethical judgment. But you won’t gain good health by repeatedly vetoing the vote of the senses and denigrating the wisdom of the body. Nature was neither capricious nor perverted in making sure that, other things being equal, what feels good is good for you.
— George Leonard

The essence of tantra is dealing skillfully with pleasure. The person who qualifies for tantra is someone who can cope with pleasure, someone for whom dealing with pleasure becomes a conducive situation for achieving liberation. This is the tantric personality. If a person only knows how to be miserable then tantra will not work for him or her. Like a nuclear reactor without any fuel, such a person will have no resource to utilize for the necessary transformations.
— Lama Yeshe, Introduction to Tantra

Heart on fire !

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"Although a man may be book learned, if he does not apply in his behavior what he knows, he is as a blind man, who even with a lamp in his hand cannot see the road."

One of my favorite quotes is taken from "Stanza 169 of the "Shes-rab sdong-bu" (Tree of Wisdom) of Nagarjuna (ca 100BC) translation 1955 by Professor Chen Chi Chang